Saturday, September 20, 2008

Please Help!

MeesterCranky just sent me this urgent plea....please, do what you can to help!

"As you may have heard, Blink-182's Travis Barker was critically injured in a plane crash yesterday. He is hospitalized in critical condition with burns over his body.

He will require extensive skin grafts, obliterating much of the approximately 400 tattoos on his face, neck, back, calfs, ass, and scrotum.

There is an urgent call out to skin donors, particularly those with tattoos already in place, to try to save as many of these decorative works of art as possible. Please, don't let this scrawny gap-toothed idiot's life work go up in smoke. Donate your tattooed skin now.

In particular, a section of throat is needed with the head of a penis on it and the words "TO FUCK" (part of his tattoo of a penis and the legend under it BORN TO FUCK GOATS.

Also needed are the letters X, RO, G and JES in Old English Script type (we don't know what this spells until we stitch it back together) ; a picture of a garden gnome with urine splashing off it's little face; and a Pokemon receiving head from Betty Boop.

Think of all the joy this stupid-assed little pencil neck has given you then reach deep into your heart and pull up a pound of flesh so he can continue making "music". "


goldenrail said...

I'm not a Blink 182 fan either, but ouch! that was harsh.

(and yet, still so amusing.)

MaryRuth said...

That's my MeesterCranky!.....he just has a way with words. However, I must add, that as a fellow drummer, MeesterCranky did say Barker was "technically skilled".

Denis Faye said...

That's funny. I can't think of anything more pithy or amusing to add though. Sorry.

MaryRuth said...

Denis--thanks! I wish I could have thought of it myself, but MeesterCranky is the king of scathing invective.

Lisanne McT said...

That guy has always annoyed the hell out of me...i am unfamiliar with "his work" but i do know he was on some sort of reality tv show with a barbie doll wife and a mcmansion. too bad about the accident though.

r.i.p Paul Newman, a REAL man.

MaryRuth said...

Lisanne--Newman will definitely be missed.